Happiness

Happiness is having your very favorite 12 year old come home after being away with your parents for 11 days and getting the BEST hug from him. 

It was the sweetest "I love you mom" hug ever.

I have actually gotten about 10 today.

I am so grateful he got to go to SLC, Moscow, ID, see the Christmas devotional, listen to laugh radio and read the book "Chester I love you"

I am so grateful he had safe travels.

I am so grateful he got to spend so much time with parents.

I am grateful he is home.

I love him.

Grateful

Today, I am grateful for Miracles.

Answers to prayers and MIRACLES.

Love to my friend who received a miracle.

To the lady...

(This may come out as mean but I am not trying to be mean, just document how I feel)

To the lady who told me that by homeschooling my son, he would turn out weird.

Honestly, your opinion is not one I care about.

( I don't really know you so why would I care?)

I don't know why you would feel like I would care about your opinion if you gave it.

Would you listen to me if I said things about your kids?

Especially if it was negative?

Probably not and I would understand.

It is a comment though that has rolled around in my head every now and again.

I don't really let it bug me. 

I did until I realized I didn't put value on this person's opinion.

But there are moments that it comes to mind and I think

"If this is weird then I will take weird any day!"

Moments like this.

This morning I was in my room while my son was working on math. 

He comes into my room, gives me a hug, looks at me and says "Mom, I love you."

For a young man who is not an overly affectionate kid at all, this is a moment that makes my heart soar!

There are times he comes to me perplexed with a problem and says 

"Mom, I need your help with something. I am just not able to understand this question."

For a young man who has a very hard time asking for help, let alone say he does not understand something, this is huge.

And apparently weird.

I will take weird any day!

There are times when we sit down to read our scriptures together. 

Sometimes he directs the conversation, sometimes I do.

I would not have thought of my son learning to direct Gospel discussions was weird but I will take it.

There was one day I could tell he was just going to struggle thru Math.

That day could have turned into a terrible day for him.

I had the prompting to change Math to making cookies for his Young Men's President.

L really respects and loves his YM's president.

The whole day changed around when he found out he would be making multiple recipes of cookies (doing Math fractions!) 

But his whole attitude was SO much better.

If it is weird that he can learn to serve those who serve him and have a good time doing it, then weird it is!

I have watched my little man learn to love and care for his parents and siblings in a way he never has before.

I have watched him learn to be able to say kindly that he does not agree with me and cause a big fight over something so little.

I have seen a young man become confident in himself, who he is and what he stands for.

I have seen a young man grow closer to the Lord.

I have seen him realize his OWN worth.

I have seen this young man become a peacemaker!

I don't know how that could be considered weird at all.

In fact, these are all traits that I have wanted for him but for the past 12 years, really struggled to know how to help him.

In the 2.5 months we have been homeschooling, I have seen such growth in this young man.

I am proud that he asked me to homeschool him!

I am grateful he has trusted me enough to ask him to do this for him.

I am grateful to be at home so I CAN!

I am grateful to be able to learn alongside him.

I am BEYOND grateful for a great school board who helps me so much.

I am MORE THAN GRATEFUL for those who have walked this path of homeschooling before me and have guided me.

I am grateful that there is a Math Curriculum out there that I don't have to come up with on my own!

I am grateful for those that have helped me to create other curriculum.

I am grateful for learning opportunities with my son that make me realize how blessed I truly am.

L-man, I love you more than you could know.

Just wanting to document today

Today has been a L work at his own pace kind of a day. 

I usually like to be done school when we can but today, I knew if I tried to rush, it could turn our day for the worse. 

We had nothing else we needed to do, no where we needed to go.

I woke up with a migraine and a kink in my neck.

I was not pushing him to work faster than he can.

We were finishing up the day with making gliders.

We finished the experiment and when school was done, L looks at his little sister and says, "Let's take this experiment outside!"

He helped her get bundled up for the outside.

I watched as he lovingly did up her zipper on her jacket and helped her find her mittens.

I can hear them outside now.

I knew I would enjoy homeschooling.

I really love it!

I love the bond I have been able to develop with my son.

I love watching him learn.

I love seeing him be kinder, sweeter, less stressed.

I LOVE the no homework!!!

I love him.

How is it?

How is it that I have been a mom for just over 12 years and I feel more in love with my children today than I did the day they were born?

I remember the feeling so distinctly when they were born, a love so strong that it overcame me with emotion.

I remember thinking just after each of them were born, "There is no way I could love my child more than I do at this exact moment."

Apparently for me, that is not true.

I love them so much deeper now than I ever thought I could.

And for that, I am grateful.

Life long learning

I had a feeling in July that school(for my kids) for the 2013-2014 school year would be hard. I really wanted M to repeat kindergarten. Mr. M did not. She was the absolute youngest child enrolled in kindergarten last year and it showed. Sometimes it was quite painful to watch. I had talked to her teacher back in May and she recommended her repeating a year. Mr. M and I never really did come to an agreement that she would repeat, I just really felt so strong that she should. I enrolled her in kindergarten and have never been so happy to make a choice to hold her back. Oh the changes! She is CONFIDENT! She KNOWS her stuff! Before it was watching the little fish in the ocean doing all she could to try and swim with the big fishes and never catch up to them. When I looked at it long term, I didn't want that for her for life. I didn't want her to feel like she was never good enough. Like no matter how hard she tried she would never be able to accomplish the same schoolwork as the other kids. I kept thinking "If it was this painful now, what would it be like when she is a teenager?" I could see some really horrible experiences flash before my eyes and I just wanted SO much more for her! I love watch her come home and talk about school and what she did in such a confident way! LOVE IT!

B is in grade 5 this year. What a brilliant little man he is! He is always running behind because he has his nose in a book. Always! I love how much he loves to learn. His teacher is absolutely phenomenal! She taught L grade 5 and I was really hoping that she would teach B. The way she teaches is in such a way that he learns and sucks the info up like a sponge. B is my natural born sportsman. I have never before in my life seen a child who focuses so much on sports! I love it because it is him, it is who he is. He is in Karate again this year. I LOVE watching him in his sport. He has this level of concentration that I don't see elsewhere. He changed his musical kata this year and got to design some of it himself. It is a great kata! He did wonderful at his fall tournament.

L is in grade 7 this year. L is being homeschooled this year! That is by far the biggest change in my life this year. I didn't have much notice with his decision to homeschool so I felt like I was just swimming for the first few weeks. Now I don't feel so much like I am swimming. I am really loving it and learning more than I did when I was in grade 7! I was way more interested in other things than school. What I love the absolute most is the time I get to spend with him. It does a moms heart good to spend this much time with her 12 year old! He is by FAR the happiest I have EVER seen. I really wish I could describe it but maybe it is just something I need to feel inside myself to know that this is the right decision. I have been so blessed with a few friends who are brilliant at homeschooling and have helped me so much along the way.

Life is such a blessing. I just needed to remind myself that life will throw challenges at us but we always have beautiful moments that remind us how important the choices we make are.

To the officer that gave me a ticket...

A few weeks ago on a Saturday morning, we pulled our license plate off our car to clean it and add the new year to the plate.

"If you take the plate off, give it a good wash, dry it, make sure the plate is warm, the sticker will stick better" I remember my dad telling me when I bought the car from him.

I sent Mr. Miller out to put the plate back on and forgot about it until later on in the day. 

I was out doing running around and had M in the car with me.

She really is the sweetest 5 year old around.

I was stopped at a light that had just turned red. 

I picked up my phone and sent my mom a quick text.

"Mom, can I use your club card at the store to get a discount on sugar" 

Send

I waited for the light to turn green and when it did, I went.

About 2 kilometers down the road there was an officer in the right hand lane that was going slow.

I proceeded to pass him on the left hand side, not speeding at all. 

As soon as I passed him he got behind me, flicked on his lights (thank heavens no sirens!) and motioned for me to pull over.

All of a sudden all I could think about was the stupid license plate and thought Mr. M had not put the plate back on. 

I was panicking mildly.

When I pulled over, the cop approached me and asked if I knew why I was pulled over. 

All I could think about was that stupid plate.

"Please tell me I have my license plate on the back of the car"
"Yes Ma'am, your plate is on your car"

"You pulled me over because I sent a text at the light?"
"Yes Ma'am. Not only that but I saw you pick it up as you were driving down the road. I was going to let you get away with it but when you picked it up driving with your daughter I knew I could not let it go"

I KNEW I had not picked it up while I was driving down the road. 

I looked over and saw a chocolate bar next to me on the seat and explained to the officer that it was a chocolate bar that I broke off and gave a piece to my daughter.

He believed me but still had to give me a ticket.

Fair enough, I was the one that sent the text.

I have thought about this a LOT in the past few weeks.

We all have things in life that we do that we know we should not do.

I am not the only one who has done this, won't be the last.

But to the officer that gave me the ticket, I say THANK-YOU!

Thank-you for reminding me that more importantly than sending a text about sugar that I should be talking with my daughter at a red light. 

She is the best sugar a mother could have.

Thank-you for slowing me down enough to remind me to enjoy the moments with my children.

Thank-you for being kind to me in the pull-over.

Thank-you for teaching me that honesty is appreciated. 

He was grateful that I said I sent the text, that I didn't argue or fight him on it.

Thank-you for not giving me a ticket for not having my insurance but knew that I had it because I was being honest about texting.

Thank-you for being kind to my daughter and explaining that mommy is not a horrible person.

Thank-you for teaching my daughter to say "Mommy, no texting at red lights!" e.v.e.r.y.t.i.m.e we get in the vehicle.

I am grateful for lessons in life that come our way. 

They do not always come in the way I would like but $172 is a lesson I would rather pay than others that I can imagine.