“As you walk to the boundary of your understanding into the twilight of uncertainty, exercising faith, you will be led to find solutions you would not obtain otherwise.” Elder Richard G. Scott.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

100 DAYS FOLKS!!!!

100 days
really, seriously? 
I remember wondering when I gave up diet coke that I was going to die.
NO jokes, seriously, going to die. 
Why not?
The headaches were h-e-l-l, I needed my diet coke, why give it up.

But I knew that with how much I loved my diet coke and drank it that it was not good for me.
There was a running joke around the house that I would need to have a 1 year supply (food storage) of my diet coke and that our house was not big enough.
It was all or nothing.
So, I went for the nothing.

I am actually kinda proud of myself. 
When I started this, I thought I could never do it.
There were many days I didn't want to do it.
But, I decided I was worth it.
I was worth teaching myself a lesson that I am worth giving it up.
That I can do something that was hard.
This year has been a year where I really felt like I got nothing accomplished and let myself down on so many levels, so I am glad I did this ONE thing and I taught myself to do something hard.

To me, 100 is a big number.
It's HUGE really.
The next time I get to add a digit is when I hit 100.
And I WILL do it.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

December 21st

Dear Dec. 21st.
I loathe you
I know, like you care.
Why you may ask? 
I am pretty much nuts by now but really, to give me so little daylight on a day like today is pushing me beyond what I can handle as a human being.
I usually really cannot stand you.
But today, I think I might find a bit of love for you. 
Why you may ask?
Well, this Dec 21st brings a family member closer to me!
That's about the only thing I like about you today.
Oh yeah, and the fact that I don't have to see you for another year!
(I really detest the lack of sunshine, can you tell?!)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

"Things gone right"

This year has kind of sucked.
I know, just what you want to hear.
But really, this is not a rant, I promise.

There has been a lot of crappy stuff that has happened this year.
It has been so stinking hard on me, physically, mentally, emotionally.
I just feel drained.
I am SO ready to kick 2010 to the curb and start off a new year and pray it's a gooder.

So one morning as I was out doing my morning papers, I was thinking about it.
I was thinking about how much had happened and how I was kinda at a point where I didn't want to even deal with it anymore.
Just wanted to hibernate until January 1st. 
Am I allowed to do that? 

So instead of focusing on the bad and crappy year, I decided I would focus on what seemed like the few shining moments of the year. 
And then I was quickly adding up how many wonderful things I had been blessed with in my life this year. 
And then I was quickly overwhelmed with all these amazing blessings and felt so grateful for them.

In a totally non specific order of  "Things gone right"
Was able to go to the Temple to do a session multiple times this year.
Was able to go to the Temple with the youth twice for them to do Baptism's for the dead.
Celebrated each of my children's birthday's, what blessings they are, happy and healthy and grateful to be blessed with amazing little ones.
Got released as YW teacher (NOT happy UNTIL)...
Got called as YW 1st counselor! WOOT WOOT!!! (Have I mentioned before that I LOVE my calling, if not, let me tell you, it is the BEST calling out there, honestly. My YW ROCK!)
Got to go to YW camp and there were NO bears! (That was literally an answer to prayers!)
Went camping in Banff with the family, once again, no bears, answer to prayers!
Got funding for our flood in our basement, once again, answer to prayers!
Got to spend many a day and night snuggling and cuddling with my kids, seriously, the best medicine that anyone could ever have. No prescription needed! 
Had my niece/almost daughter come and visit for 2 1/2 weeks in the summer.
Had my niece/almost daughter come and stay here since the end of December.
Got a job that works for me and is flexible.

As I have mentioned before, my niece A has been here since the end of November. What a blessing she is in our lives. My kids LOVE her. No, not just love her, they NEED her! They really do. She really fills some part of their life that no one else can reach. To say she is amazing is putting it mildly. Really. As I am typing this, she is teaching my 7 year old B grade 5 math ( I let B skip the afternoon of school today. I think it was a great choice!) She is so smart and perceptive of things I have been missing with my kids. I am amazed at how she picks up on simple clues my kids are giving to me that I am missing.

Fact is though, I LOVE her to bits too. Not just LOVE her but NEED her too. She fills some part of my soul that no one else can. You know how each of your children have a special place in your heart that no one else can get to? She has her own special place in my heart too. Just like my kids. There are times I refer to her as my daughter because honestly, I feel the same way to her as I do my kids. I love her as a daughter. I don't know why we have the relationship we do but I know I count it as one of my biggest blessings in my life. Right up there with my kids! 

To say she has been good for me is putting it mildly. She has come with me for work since she has been here and lightened my load. She loves my kids just about as much as I do. She has helped to lift a dark cloud that has loomed over my head and put the sun back in my life where it should be.

I am grateful for you A. I love you more than you could ever know. Really.

A went the WHOLE WAY around the board saying our names. Love that kid!