“As you walk to the boundary of your understanding into the twilight of uncertainty, exercising faith, you will be led to find solutions you would not obtain otherwise.” Elder Richard G. Scott.

Sunday, April 29, 2012


I have been thinking lately a lot about timing.
You know how you want to do something and accomplish it in a certain amount of time but you don't and you get upset and frustrated? 
Happens to me all the time.
I know, I need to sometimes remember it's not just MY timing, it's the Lord's.

I was thinking specifically this week about Little Miss M.
I was enjoying a day with her, being all girly and emotional and fun like that.
I cannot do some of the girly things I do with her with my boys. 
For some reason, they don't appreciate getting their nails painted.
I was thinking about how grateful I am to have her at THIS TIME in my life.

Oh how I wanted a girl when I was pregnant with L man.
I had a feeling he was a boy but didn't know he was a boy until he was born.
He has filled my life with so much joy and happiness.
He is the one that made me a mother.
He is the one who is loving and tender and can read me and my emotions.
He is one who teaches me on a daily basis about love and kindness.
I am reminded constantly about the Lord's love for me by sending him first to my family.

With B boy, I was pretty sure it was a girl.
It didn't help that when I went to the ultrasound and asked "Can I find out the sex?" the lady said she could not see but that I was NOT to come back because they were busy and she would refuse to let me know if I did come back. 
So when we got to what I thought was the private parts area and didn't see a penis in their I was pretty sure it was a girl.
I was in for a big shot when Jason caught him and proudly announced "It's a boy!"
Oh how B has taught me so much.
He is loving and kind.
He has this smug little smile that has a bit of frustration in it but is full of love.
He is intense and when he sets his mind to something, he does it.
He is courageous! 
He is an athlete thru and thru.
He is passionate about Karate!

I remember the moment I found out I was having a girl.
I was in the ultrasound room.
Yuka, our exchange student, was in the waiting room with 2 very excited little boys.
Mr. M didn't want to know what the sex of the baby was so the deal was I could find out as long as I could keep my big mouth shut.
That's not easy for me!
So, the ultrasound tech asked me "Do you want to know what it is? I got a very good view and could tell you with a 99.9% certainty what it is"
First thing in my mind was "Last time I heard that I was pregnant with L and I said no but he was a boy!" so I was pretty sure my destiny was to be a mother of all boys.
I told her "Sure, I would love to know"
I looked up at the monitor as she typed GIRL.
I bawled! 
I would have been happy with any little boy that came to my family but I was so excited she was a girl!

We kept it quiet until Christmas.
The boys wanted to know and I told Jason if I told them and they gave it up, that was not my fault.
He agreed.
So I told the boys. 
L was SUPER excited it was a girl, B was mad, sad and disappointed.
So the deal was we would pretend it was a boy until we told Mr. M at Christmas.
That made it easy!

When we welcomed her into our lives, we were blessed with a sweet spirit of a very determined little lady who had done nothing but teach us so much about love.

L said to me one day, 
"Mom, I really love M"
"Me too L, me too"
"Mom, I don't think I can explain to you HOW much I love her"
"awww, that's sweet L"
"|Mom, I love her so much, I cannot really explain it" 
We ended that conversation there with a hug and me being grateful for a son that loves his sister so much.

As I think back to me, what I thought my life would be like and what I wanted and expected, I am grateful for a plan that is not just mine, it is the Lord's.
I needed to wait for her.
I needed to be prepared to parent her.
There are many lessons I have learned from my older 2 that helped me to be ready for her.
I am SO grateful the timing is not just mine. 
I am SO grateful for the 3 beautiful souls that have joined our family and that love to be here.
I am grateful for them teaching me.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

"Don't judge me because I sin differently than you" Bumper sticker as quoted by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
You can read the full talk here

I loved it as soon as I heard it. Have I ever made judgments on someone? yes. Am I proud of that? no
Have I ever had someone judge me? yes. Did I like it? no.

I have thought long and hard about the talk that was given just a few weeks ago. I have thought about what I could do to help that talk make me a better person. 

I think when I am frustrated, upset or irritated is when I will usually make judgments (that I can recognize) and so I think when I am frustrated, upset, irritated I will try to be more understanding. I hope that by trying to understand, I will be less judgmental. 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


B wants glasses.
Super bad.
"Mom, I see funny spots"
"Mom, I can't really see this or that"
Funny things he will say whenever he is in the "trying to convince me" phase of him wanting to get glasses.

So we went to the eye Docs the other day.
We did all the family at once so we knew we were good.
I was not able to be in the room with him when the eye Doc was there.
While I was in my appointment we were talking about how the other appointments went.
I said "And B, how are his eyes?"
The Doc looked at me and said "Well he tried really good to get glasses but he has fantastic vision!"

I laughed!
I had not forewarned the Doc or anything.
I love it when kids do funny things.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Called to Serve

When I think of missionaries around the world, I often think of the young men and young women who take the opportunity to serve our Church
I have 4 siblings who have gone and served faithful missions. 
2 in California
1 in Utah
1 in the Philippines. 
I think back to the times they served and remember being able to feel the blessings as each of them served. 
They are all great examples to me and I am grateful for them taking the time in their lives to serve missions and the many people in the communities in which they served.

For the past few years, my parents have talked about getting their papers ready so they could go and serve a mission. 
It has been fun to listen to their plans, hear about the preparations they have been making to go. 
It is not an easy process. 
There are papers you get ready to send in to the Church Headquarter.
Doctors visits to be sure you are healthy to serve.
Interviews with your Bishop and Stake President.

My parents sent in their papers and got their mission call. 
We had to wait a few days for them to open their call.
I am NOT a patient person so for me, it was hard.
I know, I am not the one getting the call.
My family sat around the phone in our home as my parents opened their call.
Some of my siblings were at my parents home, others were on phones.
It was kind of fun to be "together" even though we were not.
We had a family prayer and then waited as they opened their call.
I knew that no matter where they went, they would go happily and serve the people with love.

Let's just say, I learned a thing about geography and world history. 
As my Dad was reading, I heard "You have been called to serve in the Yerevan Armenia mission"
Hello, WHERE?? 
Mr. M pulled it up on the internet right away so we could have a clue as to where my parents were going to be spending 18 months. 
There was much excitement and commotion going on in the back ground so we didn't catch everything that my Dad was saying. 
We figured out a few stats of what life would be like in Armenia for my parents. 
The next day, we get an email from my Mom. 

"In case you are searching about the mission you should be looking at the Republic of Georgia, that is where we will be, as part of the Yerevan Armenia mission. Love ya"

Oh, okay, I missed something in the phone call! 
This is the Republic of Georgia, not the southern drawl Georgia in the southern US.
I think the first time I heard of the Republic of Georgia was a few years ago but never really tried to figure out where it actually was.
Now, I get to hear about what it's like from my parents as they serve there!
My parents will be serving a Humanitarian mission.
That means there are a few differences.
They will wear a white humanitarian badge that will have their first name on it.
Typically, missionaries will wear a black and white badge with the name "Elder" or "Sister" in front of their last name.

There are approximately 180 members of the church in RoG.
The closest Temple is in the Ukraine
Language training is optional. 
That struck me as funny.
They will be speaking Georgian.
Here is there alphabet.
I think it looks cool.

I am proud of my parents for being willing to serve.
I am grateful for my parents being a great example to my children by being willing to serve.
I know they will serve the people with love.
I look forward to the many letters from them as we learn about another part of our world and what it is like for them to live and serve the people in the Republic of Georgia.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Quotes I love....

The last while has been a struggle for me
Wait, is life ever NOT a struggle?
There is not enough words to describe how much I love this quote
I often feel like as a mom, I am not doing enough
"I could have been more patient, I wish I served a better supper, Did I give my kids my full attention"
This being a mom is hard business
Being a mom is NOT for wimps
But I will keep trying everyday 
I have 3 little kids who watch me on a daily basis as I keep trying
Thank HEAVENS they are patient with me
For that, I am grateful

Some days, I really feel like I don't have much purpose
But today I got on pinterest for a moment and this was there
Oh my, I NEEDED it
I think that sometimes realizing that we have a purpose on this earth is often gets lost in the shuffle of life
Taking the time to realize that we DO have a purpose and sometimes thinking about WHAT that purpose is can be humbling but help us grow
This weekend, I loved conference
I loved listening to the talks that were given
It takes me back to one of my very favorite talks from President Dieter F. Uchtdorf given at the Women's session of October 2011 Conference 
You can read the whole talk here

This is my most favorite quote of all times
"Sisters, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love"

I know why I love it so much
I am so grateful for those words that were spoken
Sometimes, I feel like they are giving me just that little reminder that yes, I can do it