Changing my wording

This article made me think. A LOT! 

I have thought about the past few years and my parenting style. Things have changed SO much! I am way less moody and grumpy now that I don't drink pop. I am trying to be more patient and kind and with my children, helping to guide them in their lives. I realize I really only get 18 years with them at home. If they live to be 100, I only get 18% of them at home with my influence. That really is not a lot of time. I know my influence is not always a good one, but I am trying to help it be a better example. 

After reading the article, I was talking with my son's sensei. He is a police officer. I was talking about how kids and people seem to be under so many rules. I often complain that people have no common sense anymore. Common sense really seems dead. When I was thinking about it, there is reasons why it is probably dead. This is MY philosophy and thinking only.

Common sense seems to be dead because people are not expected to think for themselves anymore.

There are so many rules that are negative out there.

Don't bully.

Don't drink and drive.

Don't hit your sister.

Don't be rude.

Don't, don't, don't.

The rules all seem to be worded as DON'T.

B's sensei has said to me time and time again, "People are often told what not to do but don't really listen because they only think of the last thing they hear." So for instance, a police officer saying to someone has pulled over, "Don't move!" Well, the person does not hear the "don't" they hear the "move" so the person swings around to listen to the police officer and gets in trouble for moving. I asked how he could re-word it. The answer was simple. He said to me, "If you want someone to do something, don't tell them what you don't want them to do, tell them what you DO want them to do." 

Makes sense to me.

So changing all the rules out there that we hear that are negative to these rules

Be kind 

Drive sober

Be kind to your sister.

Use good words to others.

It totally made me re-think the way I word things to my children. I am FAR from a perfect parent. Oh my goodness, the things I mess up on. It does make me want to re-word the way I say things to my kids. I have been taking the time to say things differently to the kiddos. You know what?
It made a HUGE difference in the way my kids do things! They are happier to do things when I ask them what TO do as opposed what NOT to do. I am just going to roll with this one.