I am fat, I know that.
It has taken me a while to come to terms with that and really admit that.
I know what you are all thinking, "How did she not notice????????????"
It's not that I didn't notice.
I just didn't really deal with the facts.
I can look in the mirror and SEE that I am fat, but just ignored it.
I have bee doing alot of observing of people lately.
The skinny ones, middle weights and the heavier ones.
I watch and see how much more easier it is for the skinnier ones to move.
As I watch people and see the heavier people have a harder time get around, I wonder.
"how long will it be until I am like that"
"how long will it be until I get easily winded when I walk"
"how long will it be until I find myself sitting down more than standing"
"how long will it be until I cannot cross my legs anymore"
"how long will it be until I cannot run and do activities with my kids"
"how long will it be until I cannot do the things I love because my weight is too high"
"how long will it be until I die because of my weight"
I already "am like that"
I already get winded
I already am sitting more than standing
I can still cross my legs!
I already have a hard time getting out with L and kicking the soccer ball and running after the kids
I already have limited the things I love because of my weight.
I am obviously not dead, but wonder if I keep it up, will I die an early death.
The one person who is SOLELY responsible for my weight is ME!
I know that, I am not stupid.
There are changes that I have to make, but they are hard!
I have to feel that I AM WORTH IT, and no, I do not feel like I am worth the work.
Is that an excuse, maybe, but I do not feel like I am worth it.
So, some changes have to be made.
First and formost, my eating habits.
They are HORRIBLE!!!!
If the food is greasy, gross and bad for you, I love it.
Don't know why, just do.
I have to excersize.
HATE IT with a PASSION
I hate going to the gym.
All those skinny folks running around looking at the fat chick, I hate.
I know, I should not care, but I do.
So, for a while, I will do it in my home.
I am trying to come up with a time and workouts I will like so I can do it here.
Any POSITIVE encouragement would be accepted!