S-P-E-L-L I-T O-U-T

So, our oldest son, L has a learning disability.

Cannot remember the name of it, but basically is mid grade 2 level in reading, comprehension and math.

When he sees a word, he can see nothing else other than that word, ie:ask him to spell "mast" and he will.

Ask him to change 1 letter in it to make the word "past" and he cannot do it.

He is very literal in life and in spelling as well it seems.

Comprehension is so not there.

We have had the MOST AMAZING! teacher one could have in a school!

She pushed for testing of him so he can extra help in the school and so Mr. Miller and I can help him at home.

We have been working like crazy with his spelling because we are all quite certain that when he gets teh spelling of words, the comprehension will follow.

Mr. Miller and I have the habit (as I do believe most parents do) of spelling out words we did not want the kids to understand and since L has not understood what we were spelling, until the past few months.

Now, he believes that is the sole way to communicate!

It has been such a blessing for us.

L and I have had whole conversations with us spelling out what we wanted to say.

His spelling at school on tests have been improved at rapid rates of speed.

We are seeing 100% on tests!

We are seeing comprehension!

We are seeing math improve!

He is getting it!

It's been kind of fun.

We will have 20-30 minute conversations spelling it out.

We will have conversations around the dinner table spelling it out.

It's been alot of fun.

It's been a great way for us to bond and learn to communicate.

Which has been good.

That has always been difficult for us.

The Lord works in amazing ways.

I am greatful for that.

The light of Christ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0F5QmFUgec

Beautiful.

(I don't know yet how to do that cute HERE thing on my blog. I know, I am a novice.)

One Year Ago

One year ago yesterday, we had a fire.

Thank goodness we didn't loose our house.

How blessed we are.

I had put a pot on to boil.

Turned on the wrong burner.

The burner I turned on had a plastic ice cream bucket on it.

I was downstairs and heard the smoke alarm going off.

Crap I thought.

Ran upstairs and saw the flames reflection on the wall as I came upstairs.

This was not just the fact the water is boiling.

I screamed to the kids it was a fire and to get out.

I threw a dutch oven lid on the fire.

Not good enough.

The fire had hit the back of the stove and the electrics of the stove.

At some point in this mess, 911 was called.

I managed to pull the stove away from the wall.

There is no cupboards around it, so it was easy.

I remember looking out the side door at sometime and seeing L holding Miss M and b with no shoes on.

They did as we had planned, go to the neighbors.

To.a.T

I remember staanding outside knowing Mr. Miller had a horrible day at work.

 He pulled up and I said the kids were o.k and cried.

I remember being so emotional.

Greatful the kids were safe and happy we didn't loose the house.
It really helped me to remember what is important.

Family.

Nothing else really matters.

Greatful for insurance and that it covers stupidity.

That was what it was and no other way around it.

I thought we would be back in our house in a week, it was just a small fire after all.

HA!

There is NO SUCH THING as a SMALL fire!

The soot gets into E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G!

On the main floor, if it was plastic, it was gone.

Wood, gone.

food, gone.

fabric, it was steam cleaned.

There was not really much burned, but so much gone.

To be honest, I really wonder how much the people who did our clean kept for themselves!

All L wanted for Christmas was to be in our house.

Nope

It could be up to 6 months til we were back in our house.

I didn't like that answer and pestered the heck out of our cleaners.

7 weeks later, we were home.

Sometimes I still feel so emotional about the fire.

What if we lost a child?

THAT would kill me.

Each and every child of ours is so precious.

When we say our prayers and ask for His protective care, we never really understand how he will answer us.

I am greatful for His love and His care.

So happy we get to spend all of Christmas in OUR home.

We told the kids we would not go unless they asked us if they could go somewhere.

THAT is how we will spend our Christmas.

It will be wonderful!

START THE CAR, START THE CAR!!!!!

So, there is this commercial that Mr. Miller laughs his butt off at all the time. It's the IKEA commercial where the lady gets such a great deal and she leaves IKEA yelling "START THE CAR, START THE CAR!" Well, I didn't go to IKEA, but today I was at dollarama. I keep going by and looking at the canning jar lids, mostly to see if they got standard size in. The didn't, but the did have the wide mouth and snap size there. SOMEONE, not me or anyone I know, forgot to put a price on the wide wouths, so the were $1!!!! If I had to buy them full price at wal mart, they are $4/box. So, I bought them all, 27 of them! I feel so blessed. I still have some canning to do this year and have so far used 10 boxes of wide mouths alone. I feel so blessed and greatful for feeling like I should go and check. Last time, they did not have any lids at all. I am amazed this canning season how much we have gotten for cheap or for free. I had no clue how we could do it, and the Lord truly has provided a way for us!

my weight

I am fat, I know that.

It has taken me a while to come to terms with that and really admit that.

I know what you are all thinking, "How did she not notice????????????"

It's not that I didn't notice.

I just didn't really deal with the facts.

I can look in the mirror and SEE that I am fat, but just ignored it.

I have bee doing alot of observing of people lately.

The skinny ones, middle weights and the heavier ones.

I watch and see how much more easier it is for the skinnier ones to move.

As I watch people and see the heavier people have a harder time get around, I wonder.

"how long will it be until I am like that"

"how long will it be until I get easily winded when I walk"

"how long will it be until I find myself sitting down more than standing"

"how long will it be until I cannot cross my legs anymore"

"how long will it be until I cannot run and do activities with my kids"

"how long will it be until I cannot do the things I love because my weight is too high"

  "how long will it be until I die because of my weight"

I already "am like that"

I already get winded

I already am sitting more than standing

I can still cross my legs!

I already have a hard time getting out with L and kicking the soccer ball and running after the kids

I already have limited the things I love because of my weight.

I am obviously not dead, but wonder if I keep it up, will I die an early death.

 The one person who is SOLELY responsible for my weight is ME!

I know that, I am not stupid.

There are changes that I have to make, but they are hard!

I have to feel that I AM WORTH IT, and no, I do not feel like I am worth the work.

Is that an excuse, maybe, but I do not feel like I am worth it.

So, some changes have to be made.

First and formost, my eating habits.

They are HORRIBLE!!!!

If the food is greasy, gross and bad for you, I love it.

Don't know why, just do.

I have to excersize.

HATE IT with a PASSION

I hate going to the gym.

All those skinny folks running around looking at the fat chick, I hate.

I know, I should not care, but I do.

So, for a while, I will do it in my home.

I am trying to come up with a time and workouts I will like so I can do it here.

Any POSITIVE encouragement would be accepted!

Death

I know, the title sounds so bad, but I really didn't know what to call it so I called it that.

As a kid, I experienced only a few deaths but often viewed them as "The circle of life"

The one that I remember the most was when my uncle N died.

He was young and married with a wife and 3 kids left to mourn his passing.

He and his wife had already buried 2 little children who passed away together while they were cracking ice on the pond on their farm.

I still remember to this day the look on his wife and 3 childrens faces.

I don't think I will ever forget it.

I was in grade 5 and had worked so hard all year to get 100% attendance at school.

I had to leave the last 2 days before the end of school.

Mr. Campbell, the principal at the school knew how hard I worked and gave me the award anyways knowing that it was something really beyond my control.

That was the kindness and compassion I saw in death.

I remember the first time someone in our ward passed away.

It was once again a young father with 5 little children.

I remember feeling so sad for the children that they would not have their father, but more sad for the mother who would not have her companion.

I know the Lord has blessed the.

I saw our ward really rally to help her and the children.

I saw compassion and love in action.

I buried FAR TOO MANY friends in high school.

Some family, but mostly friends.

Their funerals were so sad.

So final.

I hated going but felt the pull to say goodbye.

It has been a while since I had to go.

Now, it's been 2 in 2 months.

2 young really amazing men who have helped shape me and who I am.

THAT is what makes me the saddest.

The first was our really good friend from Edmonton.

Mr. Miller and him lived in the same "big house" along with so many other guys.

Sometimes I look at some of the crazy things we did with him and think of how greatful I am that he just let us help him live.

He always said he wanted to live to live, not live to die.

He did that.

He had Muscular Dystrophy.

He was not supposed to make it out of his teens.

HA!

ALMOST made it to 31.

His 4th child was born 5 weeks later on what would have been his 31st birthday.

The tender mercies of the Lord.

He was blessed with an amazing wife who is strong and will continue to raise them in the gospel.

The next fine gentleman was my cousin, J.

34 years old.

I have been trying to figure out how to describe him.

He was different and knew it but didn't really care.

He accepted people as he wanted to be accepted.

He loved you for who you are, not who you wanted others to think you were.

He loved you unconditionally.

I do not think I have EVER SEEN HIM MAD!

I know, pretty amazing but really true.

He could have probably felt like he had every right to be mad.

We all feel that at some time in our lives.

Nope, he would just smile that wonderful smile and say Thank-you and go about his day.

That was who he was.

I remember being new in the young adult ward in Edmonton, not really too sure if I wanted to be there or not.

Who do I see but J, talking to a girl, trying to get her to go out with him.

Most people would go about their day and wave kindly.

Not J.

J looked at the girl and said, "Just a minute" came over to me and said

"Hey cuz, I just wanted to say hi and I miss you" and gave me a great big hug.

I was thinking that of all people who really would understand how nice and important what he did, it would be him.

He didn't get the date but as he said,

"anyone who don't have the patience for that, I don't have the time to get to know them."

FAMILY was important and I was family.

He LOVED women.

Loved but respected them.

Never married.

I have been thinking alot the past week about the time I have spent with him in my life and how richly blessed it has become.

Now, as I go on, they are memories that one cannot erase, but know that I will not be able to make any more memories with him.

I have been thinking of how unfair death is to those left behind.

YES, I do know I will see him again, I am greatful for my saviour Jesus Christ and his sacrifice so we can see each other again.
It's really hard for us as we go thru the stages of mourning his death.

It is hard as I wonder if he knew how important he was to me in my life.

It is hard as I wonder if I was nice enough to him.

It is hard as I wonder if I did enough for him.

I am sure I will get to hear him yell (if it's allowed in heaven) a great big, "CUZ!"

I just miss him.

His death has affected me more than I thought it would.

I am not sure why, but it has.

I think it's because when one was around J, you KNEW you were loved, appreciated and important to him.

My cousin J is also the youngest son of my uncle N.

I feel for my aunt, who has now buried more than half her children and a spouse.

I am greatful for her strength and faith as I saw her at the funeral.

I am greatful for her and having J so I could have a great cousin who I love and who loved me back.

I only hope he knows how much he means to me.

That he is really special in my life and has helped influence me.

I thank him for his life and who he was and the strength and confidence he had as he went thru life.

I thank him for being an amazing cousin.

I love him and will see him again.

Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson. 
The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered 

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and 
failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. 
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. 


The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. 
'We must do something about father,' said the son he had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.' 



So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. 
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. 
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. 

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. 
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. 

The four-year-old watched it all in silence..

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. 
He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded, 
'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. 
' The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. 

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. 

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. 
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, 
neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled. 



Chokecherry Jelly and Syrup

SO, I never knew it until this summer how much my family likes chokecherry syrup. So, when we had our family reunion, some people were talking about it. My mom made some just for my siblings. My friend Jaime let me go to her mom's house this summer and pick chokecherry's and even helped me! Thank-you ever so kindly. I think next year, I will have to pick twice as much! Yuppers, my family LOVE chokecherry's!

So, for those of you keeping count, 5 pints and 1 half pint of chokecherry syrup and 13 pints and 1 half pint of chokecherry jelly. That is if the jelly sets! Fingers crossed. Remember EMAIL!!!

Apple Rhubarb Jelly

So, in the summer, I juiced apples and Rhubarb together, but forgot to label it. SO, yesterday when I was opening jars, I opened the big 2 quart jar of juice thinking it was Chokecherry and it was not. SO, I decided to make Jelly. IT was darn good. I just threw in some pectin and sugar, lemon juice and it all worked out. 10 pints and 4 half pints.

Tomatos!

So, I got 250 lbs of tomatos. The end product... 106 pints of diced and stewed tomatos and 36 quarts! I better be done FOR A LONG TIME! I am so GREATFUL for very cheap produce that I can can and my fmaily ignoring me for a few days so I can get it done!!!!

I really LOVE canning. Is it hard, yes, but I really love it! I am greatful for the strength I have been given this canning season. Man, I am beat. I pretty much have potatos left to do. I will use that time to SCRUB every inch of my kitchen as well. It has been cleaned but not really cleaned. Then, on to making Christmas goodies!!! I bought my stuff today. Let's hope this season goes better than last time. Last time I bought my Christmas goodies ingredients, I had a fire. Fingers crossed.

I don't want my kids to work for it

This may sound diffrent than what the title is. Actually, I think quite diffrently than the title. It is a saying I hear all the time when I am out and about and it drives me CRAZY! Really, should kids not have to work for it anymore? SHould they really have everything handed to them on a silver platter? No, is MY opinion.

I remember being a kid and working for my wants. My needs were provided for, and if there were extra's that I wanted, I earned them. I think I was 8 years old when I started doing extra jobs. I didnt mind it. There were 7 kids in our family. We as kids made sacrifices. I remember when I got my first pair of acid washed jeans. I earned the money for them and let me tell you, I really took care of them! I loved them. It started a trend. I took care of what I earned.

I was 10 when I got a paper route and 14 when I started working at Dairy Queen. I had to work hard to just get the job. I went in every day for 3 weeks to let the boss know I wanted the job and was really happy when I got it. It paid, $4.25/hour. I was stoked! It was nice to be able to earn my wants.

It drives me crazy when I am out and I hear parents say, "I just don't want my kids to have to work for it." Have I done it ever, unfortunately yes. I don't think kids have to work for everything, but I do think they should have to work for more than they do.

We have recently started having the kids help with dinners. They each have to plan 1 meal/week, write out what ingredients they will need on the shopping list, and do the prep for their dinner. It has to be healthy, have a protein, carb, vegetables, they have to help make it and they are allowed to make 1 dessert/month. I am not a big dessert girl (I know, it does not seem that way just by looking at me), but I really wanted them to learn a few things. I really wanted them to know how to cook. I wanted them to have more responsibility. I wanted them to realized supper does not magically appear on the dinner table each night. It helps them with their reading/spelling and their math skills. We are still very much in the honeymoon phase of this, but it works not too bad. It gives me mommy/child time that I have felt likeI am missing with them. It gives us time to talk and bond.

I have been trying to find morethings for them to do, to make them work more. I do not think they have to work for it ALL, but I do think they have gotten a bit spoiled and I want them to learn life is not handed to them on a silver platter. I love them to bits and pieces, and because I love them so much, I am willing to do this. It will not be easy, but i know it's worth it. THEY are worth it.

I wish I had his confidence

So, B had pictures this week. School pics. he said to me, "Mom, I want to wear something nice, really nice." I asked him what he would like to wear and if he would like to pick it out. He took about 5 minutes picking it out. Yes, this iswhat he wore to school. Cowboy boots, shorts, his blue, button up church shirt and Colnel Sanders bowtie. He took his jacket off for the picture.

He is old enough now to pick his own clothes out. Mostly, you cannot tell, but sometimes, you sure can! I LOVE IT! I know, some people are probably thinking "WHY would you allow your kid to wear that?!?!?!?!" My answer would be, "Because he wanted to." I think in life, there is ALOT to get upset about. This is not one of them. He is a free thinking induvidual and I respect that in him. Of all the choices he has to make out there, this is not a crucial one. It's clothes. AND, I think he's just pretty darn CUTE!!! I hope you like the picture as much as I do. I think it's my favorite picture of him ever. It shows him, who he is and his little personality!

OREO cookie cake

So, I made L an Oreo cookie cake. I realized as we were in the process and after 3 major meltdowns, he really wanted a Dairy Queen Oreo cookie cake. Well, tough, we were in the middle of it so MAYBE for his actual birthday, he will get one. He will have to share title though on it because he was born on our 2nd year anniversary, so it's his 8th birthday and our 10th anniversary! Here is pics. Hope you like em!

some new stuff!

So, there was an add in the paper this morning, and I called about it. The guy was moving into a condo and getting rid of his canning jars and shelves! I went and got 30 canning jars and had help bringing home a REALLY NICE canning jar shelf! It has had newspaper on it all the time, so it is in immaculate condition. I get another one for FREE tomorrow! I am such a fan of free stuff if you are going to use it!

Then, I went and got FREE plums! It is actually a pretty cool story. I was searching for an address that I was given and was pretty sure I was at the right house and asked if I could pick the plums I had called about earlier. I was at the WRONG house! Oh, oh. As I was walking away, she said, "well, I do have a plum tree in the backyard and I am not going to use them, so if you want to pick them, you can!" I was totally excited. I got about 30 lbs, and she gave me her # so I can come and pick the fruit in her yard next year too! Seriously, we are feeling so blessed this harvest season! The cukes and zucchini were FREE too!

The other pics are pics of my garden, sorry there are 2 of the pumpkins, I do not know how to erase a pic. Also, any clue on how to move the pics around?

ignoring this!

I know, I know! I have been ignoring my blog. It is totally unintentional. I've been pre-occupied. Can you guess with what???? I know, my kids are gone to school so I should have more time on my hands. BUT, it's canning season! We have been so blessed to have so much food given to us free! ALOT of apples, I have probably had 500 lbs of apples come thru here. No, I am not joking. That is between crabs and regular apples.

Also given to us, zucchini (4 large), cukes (30 lbs), plums(10 lbs), chokecherries (4 gallons)! I have also bought plums, peaches, pears, cherries and gotten beets from my garden. I AM LOVING IT! I really am so greatful for this season. I know Mr. Miller is sick of the mess in the house, but as I look at how much we have been given, I feel so blessed.

Is it really "the most wonderful time of the year?"

There is this annoying Staples commercial that plays the song, "It's the most wonderful time of the year" to a dad walking thru Staples pulling his kids around on a couch. Obviously, the kids are not happy about it. It drives me crazy. My kids asked me what was the meaning of the commercial. I told them the dad was happy that the kids were leaving home and getting out of his hair. L was appalled and wondered why a parent would be happy that their kids were not around anymore. Didn't the parents love the kids anymore? I took the opportunity to tell him that it probably is not the case, but it is a way of making fun of the kids going back to school. He then shocked me and asked me if I thought it was the most wonderful time of the year and was happy to have him go to school.

No, not at all. I have really loved this summer. I know, you must be thinking I am certifiably insane. SERIOUSLY, after I spent all summer alone with the kids and I really loved it? YOU BET! I have been able to bond with my kids in the most amazing way. They are known "daddy's kids" and with him not here this summer, it was really a great opportunity to get to know them with me being the only parent here. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, I would NEVER want to be a single mom on a permeanent basis, but since he was gone anyways, I took the opportunity to get to know them on a much deeper level. They in turn have learned that I am kind of o.k and I think they like me!

As I prepared to send them to school, I am hoping that we are able to keep the bond up. This year will be a busy one. Mr. Miller is doing his thesis, I am working on our food storage and making sure we have much more than the basics. Lincoln we know is going in behind the 8ball. He still struggles with math and reading. He has improved so much over the summer. B is a child who we need to keep challenging. School comes easy to him, so keeping him occupied with lots of diffrent activities will be our challenge. M will keep me running! Today at church, a lady was shocked that she is 19 months because she is so tiny. She eats so much, buts burns it off so quick. Helping her to learn to be obedient and helpful will be my main challenge.

Is it really the most wonderful time of the year? No, I would much rather have my kids at home with me. I love having them around. I appreciate their smiles, their funness, their appreciativeness.(no clue if that's a word or just one I made up). They are wonderful children who light up my life. The challenge me as a person everyday to want to be better, want to do more, want to make changes for the better. Do I really want them to be gone every day? No. I would like to home school, but I am not there yet. One day.

Is it truly the most wonderful time of the year, NO. I would much rather sing that time at Christmas. For me, THAT is the most wonderful time of the year.

what to say

My feelings and emotions have been all over the map lately. Life has been busy, still being blessed with food to can. We got 2 zucchini's today. YUMMY! I love Zucchini. It is one of those foods that you can use right away, or can freeze and use at another time. We are so blessed to have this food given to us. It really has been an interesting process. I really only knew a very few things about canning, and what I did know, was from when I was a kid who begrudgingly would help my mother. Now, I am the mother who has kids that "help" me. I have found a ricer that I LOVE. It has made my life so much easier!

My kids are going back to school. I am happy for them to go. I am ready for them to go. They really are fabulous kids who just are amazing. L we know is still behind the 8ball, but I talked for a few minutes with his teacher to arrange a meeting with her and talk about a plan of action to have him caught up. I really like her. She has been teaching for quite a few years, so it will be nice to have someone who is comfortable in their profession.

B is more than ready to go back. I am really hoping that he can get over his separation anxiety. That was a big problem last year. He is older and wiser. He is a kid who gets it and am really hoping that his teacher will challenge him.
Miss M will be crying harder than I will this year. She really loves to spend time with the boys. She has had such a fabulous time with the boys this summer. She is a riot.

I am greatful for prayer. We have been praying more as a family. Trying to teach the kids to be more meaningful in their prayers. We have been able to have some great talks regarding it. I was able to meet someone online who wants to go back to church! I am so happy for her and the decision she made.

I am missing my extended family. We saw them this summer, it is so hard to not be closer. It was so wonderful to spend time with them. They really mean so much to me.

Good night!

feeling so Blessed

So, I made the decision last year to really work on my food storage. We had very little in the way of food storage. You know, a few token bags of wheat, a little Barley, and rice. You know, we would be o.k. We would have enough. HA, yeah right. When I first sat down and really realized what we would NEED, I thought we would have to win the lottery to get to that point. We were so far behind the 8ball. We made the decision to do it. Get a food storage. We have come so far and are counting our blessings. In December, we had a fire in our house. We were able to take some of the money from our insurance payout and really get alot of our basics filled up for 1 year.

My goal this summer was to get alot of the non basics but still necessary to have a better food storage. more variety. We have been so blessed to have alot of free food given to us so it can grow. Apples seem to be blooming everywhere. I have been juicing and saucing up a storm. Today, I went to my friends mothers home and picked chokecherry's. I got almost 6 quarts of juice, to be made into Jelly and syrup later! SO greatful for that blessing. I am really excited about this canning season! I am loving it so far and greatful for the free food that I have been blessed with to help our food storage grow!

Little Miss M

Little Miss M runs the house. She has since I was pregnant with her. I have never felt so exhausted in my whole life! ALL I wanted to do was SLEEP! I had B at home with me, so it did not happen as much as I would like, but I sure had fun being pregnant her and having 2 older kids at home. They both really helped me to appreciate being pregnant as everything kick that I had with her was rejoiced! They loved the ultrasounds. During one of them, she stuck up her hand as if to say "Hi", it was so cute because you know,she was only saying hi to them.

She was not a surprise, just a long time coming and was so worth the wait! We knew and felt like there was another little one for us, but after having had post pardum depression after B, we were nervous. We knew we could not have another one and live in Fort Mac, which was good that we felt like we should move. Mr. Miller quit his job in Fort Mac at the end of May. We knew he would work until the end of June, so we figured we would have time for him to get a job as lots of jobs are ended in June. June came and went with lots of interviews, but no job. At the beginning of July, he got a phone call From his current district looking for an interview as a principal of Manyberries. They could either do it via confrence call or in person. We were going to the Hat at the end of July, and they were o.k waiting until then to interview him, so that's how it happened. We were relieved when he got the job.

When we moved to the Hat, I was about 6 weeks pregnant, but lost that little one on Sept 30th. We felt comfortable with waiting, and when we became pregnant with Little Miss M, we were THRILLED! and nervous because of my past experience. The pregnancy was great. On Feb 3rd, I was laying on the couch and tried to get up and had 1 massive contraction. I could not move, so was stuck in the crouching position, half way up and half way down. Mr. Miller came out to help. The next day, if I was up and moving, I was having contractions. Mr. Miller was at work and had a very important meeting that night and so I wanted to postpone labor, if at all possible. I would lay down on the couch and write a list of things I had to do when I got up for a pee break. I would complete my list, and lay back down. At about 5, I started to have a few contractions here and there, no matter if I was laying around or not. I was determine dto let Jason have his meeting! I fed the kids and our exchange student, Y, got them ready for bed and helped clean up. Mr. Miller called at 8:50 and said he was on his way home. I told him to check messages with the person he was carpooling with, just incase something happened. at 9pm, my contractions came, 5 mins apart, no stopping. I was trying to lay the kids down with contractions, but everytime I had one, the boys would panic. (No home births for me!) I called my inlaws, they came over. 3 minutes apart. I called and left a message for Mr. Miller to hurry home. 5 mins later, I left a message for him to get to the hospital! I was on my way, just not sure if I was in labour. I got to the hospital at 9:45 and Jason got there at 9:55. I was still not sure I was in labour! Well, when they checked me and I was 4cm, I knew I was! I begged for an epidural, no such luck. I begged for drugs and was told I would get them right away when I got out of the shower. HALF AN HOUR LATER... I got my drugs! Seriously, if I am told I will get them ASAP, I expect them ASAP!!!

Little Miss M was born at 1:57 am on February 5th. She is such a blessing in our lives. Everyone told me girls are so prissy and girly, well, not her. She is happiest when she is wrestling, playing pokemon, roughousing with her brothers! I would have it no other way. She is such a blessing! As with our other children, I definitley know that the Lord knows what he is doing.

Love you M!

My Berkley Boo

My second son ceases to amaze me. Mr. Miller was bugging me one day about being grouchy and said, "Maybe you should take a pregnancy test, I think you are pregnant." I took one to prove him wrong. Well, we all know who was proved wrong. He was due on Mr. Miller's Birthday, May 13th. We were managing an apartment in Fort McMurray and had 4 apartments to clean and paint from April 30th until May 3rd. Mr. Miller took a few days off work because I was stressed I would not get all the work done before I had our new little being. It was accomplished. MAJOR phew!

I impatiently went overdue with him again. HELLO, could I NOT go into labour on your own? I was induced on May 22nd. The doctor left and said, " I will see you in the morning", meaning he would see me at 8 am, not 1am like he did. It was a wonderful quick labor and much to my surprise, it was a BOY! I had been expecting a girl, but pleasantly surprised to have my little boy.

I had Post-pardum depression after B. In August, I hit a wall. I was done for. I had come home from the hospital and went back to work. It was my job and somene had to do it. I was exhausted and beat, lucky tto sleep an hour a night, more likely 1/2 hour. It was hell. 1 year of pure hell. I am GLAD though that I had it. I hope it made me a better person. I know from my having talked about it, people are more aware of what can happen after a child is born. If the pain I went thru was able to help just one person or possibly save their whole life, I would go thru it again. I had an amazing support and will always be greatful for that. When people ask me for advice on what to expect after having a baby, I will always tell then to watch their sleep and do not be afraid to ask for help.

He is the busiest little boy around. Always on the go. Why sit still when you can move, that's what I often think must be going thru his head. Loving and tender, caring and warm. He is one of the most loving souls I know. A smile on his face as he runs home from school, as I see him after church. How blessed we are to have him in our lives.

His latest saying is "Careful is my middle name" Trust me, it's not!

We definitley know that the Lord knows what he was doing when he sent him to our home. He is a most wonderful and loving child. Lately, he willnot go anywhere without me which drives me crazy, but I really love having him around.

Love ya B!

Auntie Jo

It's a name I have been called for 14.5 years. I do not remember if it was a name I gave myself, or if it was one that was given to me by my niece, A. At that time in my life, I was going by Josie. It was a kind of easy name to say, but hey, Jo is easier. It is one I love to hear as much as Mom. As mom, I have to be the hard one, the one that does not always give kids their way. As "auntie Jo", I get to be the fun one, the one that gives them what they want. I only get to see them every now and then, so it is my time to let loose and have fun. I love them all so much. I love to see their successes in life. I love their develpoment.

I look at my life and when I have felt true joy. Before I became a mother, it was any moment I gt to spend with a nephew or niece. I remember the first time I met each and everyone of them. Most were VERY emotional. If any of you REALLY know me, that will not come as a surprise. The second I saw them, they slipped into my heart. So much fun and have been had since then. I marvel at how mature they are. They have gone from these little humans to now some teenagers, pre-teens and toddlers.

I hope that I always get to be "auntie Jo" no matter how old they get. It is such a fun responsibility. I really wish I could explain how much they really mean to me. I cannot. So, I spoil them. It is a title I hold high LOVE IT!!! And all my love to them all.

My LOVE Lincoln

I really love my kids. I personally think they are fantastic. I think that with my first "real" post, I should start with my firstborn. L was born 12 days late, Sept 23. I am glad he was born 12 days late. He was due Sept 11th. THE Sept 11th. When I woke up that morning, I was so excited. I remember getting my breakfast, sitting down and thinking that this was my day. Then, I turned on the T.V and remember thinking "well, THAT"S SICK". At that point and time, 1 plane had hit the building. I turned the channel a few times and realized that it was not a movie, that lives had changed forever. The way life had changed for 1 soon to be new mom in Milk River AB really did not want to have her child that day. I had waited not so patiently for this little human being to be born. All of a sudden, I really wanted to keep this child in me forever. He was safe. I could protect. If my child was born, I could not always protect my child's safety.

When he was born, he was the most AMAZING, wonderful soul. This wonderful human being was now in my arms after 29.5 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing. My desire to protect with such raw emotions of the last 12 days still there. How could I be blessed with this soul when so many people were hurting. When their pain was so raw and deep, I had this wonderful blessing. MY life had changed for the better.

I believe in life BEFORE this life. I believe in life after death. I do not think that when we die, it ends. I believe that I am sealed to my family for forever. I believe it is my responsibility to live my life in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord, so I can live with him again. I also believe that it is my responsiblity as a parent to raise my children so that they will also have the same opportunity in the next life as I will. I want to teach them well and live with them again. When Sept 11th happened, I often wondered if he was not meant to come that day so he could comfort those spirits that needed comforting. He has the most wonderful, tender spirit. I know that my Heavenly Father REALLY knows what he is doing.

Love you L

just checkin

I've never done this before and I am beat, so just be patient with me and i'll get it figured out.